Brotherhood of Self-Criticism

army with a gratuity in 1947, paid for inside information about horse racing and 'lived like a king for six months'. Then he got greedy and didn't pay enough for the tips, lost all his money and had to take a job at an auctioneers. He stole clothes and shoes from the sale room so that he could bet his wages with the street bookmaker. He married in 1950 and vividly remembers the staff collection being given to his wife so that she could buy something for the house. His workmates knew what would happen to the money if he got it?his reputation was well-established by then. He lost a succession of jobs for constantly borrowing money and dishonesty. 'I worked hard,' he says, 'often from 8 in the morning to midnight but my wife was lucky if she got a halfpenny? many a time I've had my dinner thrown at my head when I came in.' Eventually he got a job?as a bank messenger? where he was paid monthly. The first month, with a bonus and a tax rebate, he got ?220, 'I banged that in four hours in the betting shop,' he says ruefully. One day he suddenly 'felt sick to the stomach with the gambling'. He walked out of the betting shop and vomited in the street. Next day he went to see Gordon Moody at Gamblers Anonymous to try to get enough money for his wife's housekeeping for the month?in fact, at the time he owed ?650. GA don't pay off gambling debts, they encourage members to 'come clean' to their debtors and then arrange a budget to allow for gradual repayment. Dick went to his first GA meeting the night after he saw Gordon Moody and says he 'got the message straight away'. That was 2{ years ago and he hasn't had a bet since. Bob, the second speaker called on that evening, had been a member for about six months. He first came to GA the day after he had sat from dawn to opening time outside the probation office following an all-night gambling binge?he had lost everything as usual. He waited to see his old probation officer because he knew he had got to such a stage of desperation that his next action would be a crime to get more gambling money. In a thoughtful, articulate and painstakingly